Rich celebrities are accustomed to being gifted with expensive
jewelry, and the trend extends to the day they give birth. Case in
point: Pierce Brosnan gave wife Keely three gold and diamond bracelets
when their son Paris was born. Ben Affleck presented wife Jennifer
Garner with pricey purple jewelry after she delivered daughter Violet
(which the unfussy and practical Mrs. Affleck reportedly made him
return). Sarah Jessica Parker got a gorgeous charm bracelet from hubby
Matthew Broderick when son James made his debut. Other celeb dads
celebrate the arrival of their new babies by buying their wives and
girlfriends expensive bling such as diamond rings, diamond earrings,
pearl necklaces, pearl earrings, and jewelry made with their baby's
birthstone.
Up until a few years ago, these "push presents,"--so named because
they're tokens of appreciation for labor--were news to me. All I got
when I delivered my son was…my son. Not to say that I'm not
immensely grateful; he's my pride and joy. But a nice pair of diamond
studs or a pearl cocktail ring, say, to show me that my husband
appreciated my months of hard pregnancy and hours of even harder labor
would have been "ice" on the cake.
What made the lack of gift worse was that many of my girlfriends got
stunning jewelry from their thoughtful and grateful husbands. My
favorites were a pearl bracelet, sapphire and diamond earrings, a
diamond and yellow gold band, and a princess cut yellow diamond ring.
Poor dear, my husband didn't know it was done.
Apparently, he's not alone. In researching this article, I sent a
query to all the guys on my e-mail list (whose wives can thank me
later). In addition to wanting to know if they knew what a push
present was, I also wanted know if they thought the idea was touching
or silly. Did it put pressure on them? Was it just another damn thing
they'd have to spend money on?
Naturally, the feedback I got was as varied as the guys on my e-mail
list, which includes my boss, my trainer at the gym, my brother, my
best friend's brother, my neighbors, my co-workers, and my dentist, to
name a few.
First, for the sweet:
From Dave: "Yes, I gave my wife a gift. I didn't feel pressured. She
deserved it and more."
From John: "I did buy my wife a charm bracelet after our daughter
Lindsay was born. It had charms on it for both of our daughters."
From Taylor: "Yes, I bought my wife gifts both times in addition to
flowers. The first time was a cultured pearl necklace (like she needs
more jewelry). The last was a Kate Spade diaper bag."
From Wayne, father of four: "Maybe for one or two, certainly not all
four." [I certainly remember: Wayne's wife, my friend Sandy, was the
recipient of the highly coveted and aforementioned sapphire and
diamond earrings.]
From Howie: "Considering my wife had a C-section with both girls, is
there a cut present?" [Actually, there is, and it's called a 'cut your
guts out' present. My friend's daughter Nicole got a sterling silver
bracelet from her husband for her efforts].
"I gave my wife a birthstone for each girl, but forget the 'push
present' idea. Those nine months are the easy part. It's for the 18
years afterwards that you have to give your wife the gifts! Honestly,
those two girls can scream!"
Dennis: "Funny, before my wife was pregnant I never head of a push
present. My buddy and his wife had a baby four months before us and
his wife was sure to tell my wife about this gift thing. It's not that
I wouldn't have gotten my wife and mother of my son a great gift, but
it was put into the realm of 'did your husband get you a diamond
bracelet?' type thing. It goes to show that keeping up with the
Joneses makes some folks do things they might not otherwise do." [OK,
maybe this answer doesn't technically fall under the sweet category as
it's got some ambivalence tossed in.]
"Not sure spending thousands on a gift is the best thing for the new
family. Was this gift idea created by the diamond companies? So, yes,
I did get my wife a gift. Before I'd even heard of a push present, I
had my son's birthstone set in a ring and necklace."
From Paul: "I gave her a day at the spa."
From Derek, "I gave her a Tiffany ring because it was a nice thing to
do, I'd heard, and because she deserves it."
Now, for the incensed:
From Ben: "No, I didn't get my wife a push gift. The only thing on my
mind was making sure all the important stuff was taken care of. To add
something so stupid on top of this earth-shattering event is
ridiculous. The special gift is the gift of life and the creation of a
human being. Now when I look back at those times I wouldn't' even
recall the insignificant gift. Sounds like some baloney cooked up by a
jewelers' association."
From Steve: "I agreed to fund the kids for 22 years each. That was my
gift."
Peter L: "Not a big fan of the push present. A woman gives birth to a
child and now she expects a gift??? While I have absolutely no idea
what it's like to be pregnant, I don't know of any woman who has
regretted it. The whole expensive jewelry thing doesn't sit well with
me. That's what birthdays and anniversaries are for." [Thank God I
didn't marry Peter, not that he asked.]
From Dave H: When Meryl was born I gave my wife a new bike chain for
her road bike ($60 value) and installed it for her (free of charge.)
It was the least I could do, since I had taken the chains off of all
of her bikes around the end of month seven when she refused to give up
riding. She promptly began riding two weeks after popping out our kid
and since she was lighter than what she was used to, she could climb
hills faster than I could. The good news is that she's now four months
pregnant and she's slowing down more and more by the day, which
enables me to seem faster."
And last but not least, the clueless:
Peter C: "Can't remember but I'm sure I gave something."
Matt: "Oops, was I supposed to give something? Why doesn't anybody let
us know these things?
Jim: "Color me thoughtless. It never occurred to me."
John S: "I must be a bad husband. Three kids in four years and I
didn't get Kim a gift for any of them!"
What's a guy to do?
Whether you agree with the sweethearts, the cads, or whether you're
one of the clueless, consider yourself duly informed, and remember
that nine months of pregnancy topped off by excruciatingly painful
labor (not to mention sore nipples) is no picnic. It's always nice to
be appreciated, especially when you're a new mom, and your hormones
are screaming what the heck have I done??? I used to be a sexy,
carefree vixen, for Pete's sake!!!
What's more, the jewelry you give your child's mother can be passed
down to that child when he or she marries or turns 21, say. Best of
all, you don't have to spend thousands. Many quality jewelry pieces
are just as affordable as they are sentimental.
To help you get started, here are my favorite push presents:
- Pearl studs: Timeless and elegant, pearl studs go perfectly with
bathrobes and spit-up. Plus, high quality freshwater cultured pearl
studs cost as little as $30 or $40 a pair.
- Diamond studs: A little pricier than pearl earrings, sure, but
diamond studs are a jewelry staple. That means your efforts won't be
in vain; these sparklers will get a ton of use. And you can have a
nice pair for well under $500.
- Birthstone ring: Lots of options and price ranges here depending on
the stone and the setting. (Leave out diamond accents and you probably
won't break the bank.) Remember, an elegant ring can be handed down to
your little one; so make sure you get something of good quality that
won't tarnish.
- Nantucket Basket: A gorgeous gold basket pendant necklace that holds
the birthstones of your children, the Nantucket Basket necklace is
meant to be added to with subsequent births. You might find the
necklace pricey, but once you buy the pendant all you have to do is
add the birthstones for each subsequent child. (Push present out of
the way forever.)
- Mother and child pendant: The sterling silver version of this sweet
circle pendant can be had for less than $50.
- Charm bracelet: The sky's the limit here, but the initial investment
shouldn't be too bad. Like the Nantucket basket, this piece can be
added to on special occasions. Charms are priced all over the place;
it's up to you what to spend. Baby birthstone booties are a favorite
charm of new moms, though.
- Pearl strand: Traditional and classic, a pearl necklace is a
gorgeous choice. If you have a baby girl, she can wear it in the
future on her wedding day as her something borrowed and as a reminder
of how much her mother means to you. If price is an issue, akoyas and
freshwater cultured pearl strands are the way to go. Save the
Tahitians and South Sea pearls for when your stock splits or your
patent gets approved. You get the point.
Go Shopping!
Okay, future fathers, now that you know about push presents, there is
no excuse not to get your children's mother a little (or big) token of
your appreciation. And, no, you don't have to be rich and famous like
Matt Damon or Michael Douglas, or blow future college savings. There
are lots of affordable gift options that don't cost a bundle. Do a
little research on the Internet and you can find unique and meaningful
jewelry that fits your budget. (Just make sure to have it gift
wrapped. We hate when you forget that.) And don't worry too much that
we won't like it. It truly is the thought that counts. Not so sure?
I'll let you in on a little secret: If you really want a foolproof way
to be a hero in your wife's eyes, change a diaper once in a while!
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