While on vacation recently I was forced to buy a sample-size tube of
exotic toothpaste. A subtle orange flavor, it delighted my tastebuds,
which, for umpteen years, had known only the boring palette of
traditional flavors: spearmint, peppermint, wintergreen...you get the
picture. Upon first taste, my kids, however, who eat artifically
flavored pop rocks and anything gummy with gusto, promptly gagged,
spit it out and refused to brush until I produced a "normal" tube.
Which got me to thinking, what is it about mint and toothpaste? Why do
we always brush with nasal passage-burning flavors? When did the term
minty fresh come to be associated with good breath? Why not cinnamony
fresh or lemony fresh? According to Toothpaste World (www.toothpasteworld.com
), Colgate began marketing the first commercial toothpaste in 1873, so
why did it take over one hundred years to vary the flavors? (OK, I
know they made bubblegum to lure kids several years ago, but that
doesn't count.) And couldn't someone invent toothpaste that would
complement OJ rather than make it taste worse than diesel fuel, not
that I know how that tastes.
Turns out, they can. There has been an explosion in toothpaste-making
technology (or creativity, at any rate). While our ancestors had to
make do with crushed eggshells, pumice, or, if Toothpaste World is to
be believed, the burnt hooves of animals to whiten and brighten,
modern man now has enough toothpaste styles and flavors to make our
heads spin. Some companies even give Baskin Robins a run for its
money. From bitter chocolate to Japanese plum, toothpaste makers have
gone way beyond the mint and bubblegum into flava-intense territory.
Some to try:
Tom's of Maine, www.tomsofmaine.com, has fennel, apricot, cinnamon
clove and orange-mango. Nothing there to suit your fancy? How about
poultry flavor--oh wait, that was on a veterinary web site.
Breath Palette (www.breathpalette.com) has 32 flavors! Choose from the
aforementioned Japanese plum or monkey banana, or my personal
favorites: l'espresso, sweet salt, cola, and pumpkin pudding. I guess
coffee breath is au courant.
Toothpaste World (www.toothpasteworld) offers all things toothpaste,
from expensive antique toothpaste for $203 to movie prop toothpaste
used in Primary Colors. Their flavors are pretty cool, too. How about
waking up to a mouthful of hazelnut chocolate, or six proof Scotch
whiskey? Try that one out on your boss.
For those of you who spend $200 on a tee shirt (hell-O Emily!) Neiman
Marcus has wild mint and lemon toothpaste for $18,
www.neimanmarcus.com. The posh department store also makes California
wine extra dry champagne and Chablis and burgundy toothpaste. Gee, if
my dentist gave me this stuff I'd definitely brush more than twice a
day. How about it Dr. Becker?
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