Are black pearls appropriate as a gift from groom to bride? I say,
give them to her for your anniversary. What do you guys think?
By JUDITH MARTIN
United Feature Syndicate
Dear Miss Manners:
I am engaged to a young lady and would like to purchase an appropriate
wedding gift. I am currently looking at strings of pearls, which, if
given as a wedding gift, I would hope she could wear on the day of the
nuptials.
Is it appropriate for the groom to give the bride a set of black
Tahitian pearls with matching earrings? Would it be improper or a
fashion error for her to wear the black pearls for the ceremony, or
should I shop for white? She, of course, will be wearing a white dress.
Gentle Reader:
Even if this question were not in the context of your forthcoming
wedding, Miss Manners would have known that you were not yet married.
You apparently have never dealt with the paradox of a wife's loving to
be surprised with an extravagant present but resenting being told what
to wear.
Black Tahitian pearls are a magnificent present, and they go with
everything, except possibly a wedding dress. That is not a dictate
from Miss Manners, who has not seen the dress or been able to guess
how strictly your bride wants to adhere to the tradition of wearing
white. It is merely a warning that your bride may think so, and--
however much she may appreciate the pearls --not appreciate having her
look changed at the last minute.
It would be safer to spoil the surprise, although not the pretense of
the surprise, by asking the opinion of the bride's mother or her maid
of honor or anyone else you can count upon to break your confidence,
tell her, and come back with the right answer. Another approach would
be to give her the pearls on your wedding trip.
Or you could give up and give her white pearls, which are the classic
accompaniment to wedding attire. But although Miss Manners doesn't
know how the lady feels, she hates to give up on the black ones.
Four-strand black pearl necklace, www.moonriverpearls.com.
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