If you wanted to order this white sweater from J. Crew, boy would you
be frustrated. Know why? It's not white. According to the marketing
team at our favorite preppy outfitter, it's "snow."
Having recently looked through my wardrobe to find it sorely lacking
(although after that fair I feel like I have Princess Di-caliber
togs), I decided to do a little shopping online.
But what the heck to buy? Colors range from azalea to primrose,
chartreuse to galway teal (what the heck is "galway"???). I could buy
a sweater in shale, lipstick in rapture, or slacks in mushroom. Even
that giant seller of basic gym wear, Champion, has "team blue,"
"leaf," "firestorm" (huh?) and "athletic purple." I get it: marketing
ploy. But what is laurel? Isn't he half a comedy team?
If you alienate the people you're trying to market to, that's not a
good thing. Who the heck knows that fuscous is a dusky brown and
incarnadine is flesh colored or red?
Gimme black, blue, green or white any time. I don't even mind banana,
pumpkin, cherry or fuscia. So attention marketing gurus: Crayola
managed to name all its crayons without confusing toddlers; perhaps
you can follow their lead and do the same for us color-challenged
adults...
Now, is there anyone out there who will sell me a red sweater?
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